DTH-XI-0012
“I'm choosing to forgive someone, not for them — for me.”
Forgiveness in this sense is not absolution of the other person — it is the decision to stop letting the injury consume your present. It comes after grief, not instead of it. You cannot forgive something you haven't fully acknowledged was wrong. If you've done that work, this is the next step.
Your Practice
Write what the harm was, plainly and without minimizing it. Then write one sentence: "I am releasing this because carrying it is costing me more than it is costing them." Forgiveness is not a feeling — it is a decision you remake each time the resentment returns. The practice is noticing when it returns, and choosing again.
The Architects
“Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by the opinions about the things.”
— Epictetus, Enchiridion, Chapter 5