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CTL-VII-0057

“Someone I mentored is taking off and I'm making sure the win is fully theirs.”

CTL · Pillar III — Control CTL-VII · Own Only What Is Yours.

You poured years into them and now they're rising past where you stand. The small ego could claim a stake in their flight. Don't. What you gave was yours to give; what they're doing with it is theirs. Owning only what is yours here means owning your pride and freeing their wings entirely.

Your Practice

  1. Tell them the success is theirs, and mean it — name their effort.
  2. Keep your pride private; give them the whole credit publicly.
  3. Resist any 'I taught you that' — let the giving have been the reward.
  4. Ask how you can still be useful, then follow their lead.

The Architects

“When we see men of worth, we should think of equalling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.”

— Confucius, Analects, Book IV, ch. 17 (James Legge translation)

More under CTL-VII

CTL-VII-0001“I'm obsessing over something I can't control.”CTL-VII-0002“My anxiety is through the roof and I can't shut my brain off.”CTL-VII-0003“I stopped worrying about what people think and I feel lighter.”CTL-VII-0004“I let go of something I couldn't control and found peace.”CTL-VII-0005“I finally accepted that not everything is my responsibility.”CTL-VII-0006“Someone I trusted let me down badly.”
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