Start Here Daily Practice The Forge The Store
The Philosophy
Pillars Tenets Architects Declaration Lexicon FAQ
Home / Footing / CTL-VII-0029
CTL-VII-0029

“My kids are grown and thriving, and I'm learning their choices are theirs now.”

CTL · Pillar III — Control CTL-VII · Own Only What Is Yours.

You raised them, and now they author their own lives. The pride is earned. The hardest, finest part is releasing the steering - their decisions, their mistakes, their wins are theirs to own. Loving them now means trusting them to be the cause of their own story.

Your Practice

  1. Name one decision of theirs you would have made differently - and leave it theirs.
  2. Tell them, plainly, that you trust them to run their own life.
  3. Move the energy you spent worrying into your own next chapter.
  4. Stay the steady harbor, not the captain of their ship.

The Architects

“Remember that thou art an actor in a play, of such a kind as the teacher (author) may choose; if short, of a short one; if long, of a long one.”

— Epictetus, Enchiridion, ch. XVII (George Long translation)

More under CTL-VII

CTL-VII-0001“I'm obsessing over something I can't control.”CTL-VII-0002“My anxiety is through the roof and I can't shut my brain off.”CTL-VII-0003“I stopped worrying about what people think and I feel lighter.”CTL-VII-0004“I let go of something I couldn't control and found peace.”CTL-VII-0005“I finally accepted that not everything is my responsibility.”CTL-VII-0006“Someone I trusted let me down badly.”
← Find Your Footing Tenet CTL-VII → The Codex →