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CTL-VII-0024

“I can't stop replaying how badly I think they all judge me.”

CTL · Pillar III, Control CTL-VII · Own Only What Is Yours.

The verdict you keep rehearsing lives in your head, not theirs. Other people's opinions are weather, you don't control them, and you rarely even know them accurately. What is yours is your conduct, not the running tally of imagined judgment. Govern the only court you actually sit in: your own actions today.

Your Practice

  1. Write the harshest judgment you imagine they hold. Then mark how much of it you actually have evidence for.
  2. Separate the sheet into two columns: what they think (not yours) and what you did (yours).
  3. Take one clean action on the 'what you did' column, repair, improve, or let it stand.
  4. When the replay starts, name it: 'I'm carrying a verdict no one delivered.' Then return to the task in front of you.

The Architects

“It is just as foolish to complain that people are selfish and treacherous as it is to complain that the magnetic field does not increase unless the electric field has a curl. Both are laws of nature.”

John von Neumann, Quoted by Eugene Wigner, John von Neumann (1903-1957), Yearbook of the American Philosophical Society (1958); reprinted in Symmetries and Reflections (1967), p. 261

More under CTL-VII

CTL-VII-0001“I'm obsessing over something I can't control.”CTL-VII-0002“My anxiety is through the roof and I can't shut my brain off.”CTL-VII-0003“I stopped worrying about what people think and I feel lighter.”CTL-VII-0004“I let go of something I couldn't control and found peace.”CTL-VII-0005“I finally accepted that not everything is my responsibility.”CTL-VII-0006“Someone I trusted let me down badly.”
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