Start Here Daily Practice The Forge The Store
The Philosophy
Pillars Tenets Architects Declaration Lexicon FAQ
Home / Footing / CTL-VII-0013
CTL-VII-0013

“I'm watching someone I care about make bad decisions.”

CTL · Pillar III — Control CTL-VII · Own Only What Is Yours

Their decisions are not yours to make or unmake. You can speak honestly once. You can be present. You cannot live their life for them — and trying to will cost both of you.

Your Practice

If you haven't said it once clearly, do that — calmly and without an agenda. Then let them own the outcome. Decide how involved you want to be in the consequences without rescuing them from those consequences. Love and enabling are not the same thing.

The Architects

“Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are.”

— Epictetus, Enchiridion

More under CTL-VII

CTL-VII-0001“I'm obsessing over something I can't control.”CTL-VII-0002“My anxiety is through the roof and I can't shut my brain off.”CTL-VII-0003“I stopped worrying about what people think and I feel lighter.”CTL-VII-0004“I let go of something I couldn't control and found peace.”CTL-VII-0005“I finally accepted that not everything is my responsibility.”CTL-VII-0006“Someone I trusted let me down badly.”
← Find Your Footing Tenet CTL-VII → The Codex →