APX-IV-0031
“I've made myself smaller for so long I don't know my own size.”
You did not collapse overnight. You traded an inch for peace, then another, until the apology became your posture. Shrinking did not make you safer — it made you smaller, and resentment grew in the space you gave away. Strength is not arrogance. It is standing at your actual height and refusing to be sorry for the room you take up.
Your Practice
- Catch the next reflexive apology that isn't owed. Swallow it. Say nothing in its place.
- Name one thing you've stopped saying because it makes someone uncomfortable. Say it this week.
- Take up the literal space — sit forward, hold the eye contact, finish the sentence.
- At day's end, write where you shrank and where you stood. Watch the second list grow.
The Architects
“There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”
— Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love, 1992